i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
