none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
