I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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