hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize