Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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