Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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