"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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