Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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