I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
