So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
