it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
