I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
