He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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