You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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