my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
