He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
