I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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