The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
