Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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