At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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