question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
