Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize