I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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