I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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