Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
