Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
