I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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