he wants to bone in the snuggie
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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