mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
