Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
