Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
