Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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