You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
