just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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