He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
