i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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