What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
