Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
