I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
