oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
