At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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