I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
