I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
