We're like a lot better than the average bears
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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