dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
