I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
