Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We talked him into tasing himself.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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