Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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