I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
