so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
