I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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