I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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