Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
