See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
