I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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