Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
