he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
