careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
