all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
