No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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