thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
