yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
