This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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